Winter Gives Way to Spring

  It is still winter, but signs of spring are evident. Birds are chirping and grass is green, flowers are starting to bloom. But nights are still cold, and there are still days when the clouds hide the sun. The season won’t suddenly change from cold and dead to warm and green. It is a gradual transition of new life and new beginnings.
  And so it seems to be with our own family. 
  We moved back to Stockton after Christmas. The kids started school in January and Josh was spending every day working on some remodeling in our house. The kids and I stayed with a friend until February when we were finally all able to unload the storage unit and really move back home. Last June when we moved out we had no idea what the next step was for our lives. We didn’t know if we would be back or not. We spent months in prayer and surrender to God saying. “Where do You want our family?” By grace, He urged our hearts back to Stockton. He kept our home open for us, He made our burden for Stockton and the people we care about here even stronger than before. We knew we were supposed to come home and it feels so good to be here again! Signs of spring.
  We are settling back in to many of our “normals.” Our kids were able to get back into classes at their school, and we all have a new appreciation for the privilege of attending school. Hudson is still homeschooling (2nd grade) and that has turned out to be a blessing for us too. More signs of spring.
  But parts of the settling in have been difficult. Being in Stockton doesn’t look the same for us as it did a year ago. As Christians, church is our family. The body of Christ is who we are in community with. But for some reason, God allowed all that to be taken away from us last year, and it left us very broken. It was the dead of winter. 
  God is bigger than all that, and He is bringing healing. But in the mean time we have come back to our home in Stockton with a completely different life than what we knew before. 
 Through all we have endured over the last few years … gossip, betrayal, death, broken relationships, health problems… my sweet Lord has deepened my compassion for fellow sufferers and taught me more about His heart of compassion. Even this is a sign of spring.
  2 Corinthians 1:3-5 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ.” 
  Dear friends, this is heavy. The sufferings of Christ ABOUND in us. At thirty-seven years old I have suffered through many heavy trials and darkness. But because of that, my consolation ABOUNDS through Christ. He is bigger than every single trial! And not only does He comfort me on every level of my pain, but He then allows me to be part of YOUR comfort! We get to share the comfort of Christ with one another! And friends, we all suffer. It will look different for each one of us. Some of us face health trials, or relationship difficulties, fear, anxiety, depression, abuse, pain, loss … this world is broken and we are in the middle of it. But because we have Christ, we share in His comfort. There is a “fellowship of suffering” and we get to walk alongside each other in it. 
  I may not have experienced your specific trial, but I do understand suffering. And I can just be there with you in yours. And you can be with me in mine. It is a beautiful thing to have a friend sit with you when you are absolutely at the end of yourself. This is a privilege we have been given as followers of Christ. I want to encourage you to be a comforter. We don’t have to understand the specifics of what others are going through in order to have compassion for them. You don’t have to know the answers or how to fix it or how to stop someone’s pain. You can just be there. Your presence, your love, your willingness to stick by someone is a huge gift.
    I have found that so often the reason we don’t draw near to those who are suffering is because of our own discomfort or insecurities. Maybe you feel like you don’t know what to say so it is better to just leave them alone. But I can tell you from years of experience as the one suffering, isolation is not helpful. Step outside of yourself, don’t worry about your own discomfort and awkwardness, and just BE there for each other.
  It might be messy.  Sometimes we say the wrong thing, and need to apologize. I’ve been there. But love conquers those mistakes. When you care about someone’s pain and suffering, you can move past the awkwardness of not knowing what to say or even saying the wrong thing. We learn together how to love well, how to comfort. 
  We need one another. This “fellowship of suffering” we have been called to is not supposed to be lonely. There is fellowship with Christ and with each other, a sharing of one another’s lives and burdens. And our churches, our neighborhoods, our schools, workplaces and communities are filled with broken, hurting people who desperately need a friend. No judgement, no trying to fix it. Just comfort. Compassion. Love.
  Sweet friends, you are dear to me. And many of you are the ones hurting. I know there is pain in your story, or someone’s close to you. I know the hurt can be confusing and sometimes it’s easier to bury it. I know it feels so lonely, but you are NOT alone. Reach out to Jesus; He understands. The Bible describes Him as “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3), and the book of Hebrews tells us that we can “come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” That is the heart of our beautiful Savior for you! 
 And dear saints, let’s comfort one another with the comfort of Christ, our compassionate High Priest, who has died to set us free, risen to conquer sin, and is coming back again to bring us into a pain-free eternity with Him.
  This winter we are in will not last forever. We can see the signs of an eternal spring coming. It is easy to forget when we feel like it has been the longest winter ever. The cold has wearied us to the bone, and it seems we are destined to endure an eternal winter. But this is not the truth. Year after year we see the seasons change from summer to fall, from winter to spring, reminding us of the truth of our own lives. Keep watch! The signs are there, spring is coming!

“Wrong will be right, when Aslan comes in sight,
At the sound of his roar, sorrows will be no more,
When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death,
And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
  

You are loved.
-Andrea

A Mother's Perspective

Today we want to share with you a message from Josh's mom, Susan. This is a beautiful word for all of us, to encourage us as we receive the pain God allows into our lives, to be reminded of His perfect parent's heart for each one of us. 

-Andrea

  The day had come that our children and grandchildren, Josh, Andrea, Charis, Ryden, Brooklynn, and Hudson embarked on their cross-country journey in their RV, Green Pastures. It was a mixture of emotions on my part - joy and excitement for them; sadness, concern and selfishness on my part because I knew how much I would miss them Yet, what is a parent to do?  So off they went on their adventure. Then come the phone calls and texts - "Pray. The transmission died," and more and more vehicle problems and breakdowns. Lord, what is going on?  I was ready to rent a truck and go pick them up and bring them home - a mother's protective heart - but our Lord had a different plan. God used His people to rally together as a support for them; a revealing of how much Josh and Andrea are loved by others. It reminded me of the story of "It's a Wonderful Life." Yet, my heart yearned to rescue them from all of these trying things. Lord, what would you have me do to protect them from all of the suffering and hard times facing them?

When our children were young, we read a devotional to them about a cocoon, never realizing the impact it would have on our parenting. The devotional describes a man watching an Emperor moth struggling incredibly hard to break free from the silk threads that imprisoned it. As he watched the struggle, his heart ached as he viewed this life fighting to survive. Then, no longer wanting to watch it wrestle with its circumstances, he took a razor and tenderly cut the cocoon open and the Emperor moth emerged. As he eagerly awaited for the majestic wings to open and reveal their beauty, it never occurred. The poor creature’s beautiful wings never opened up – in fact, it began to shrivel, and shortly afterwards, the majestic Emperor moth died.

There is a precious truth in this story that I will share in a moment. Many of you know that our family has experienced numerous hard losses, illnesses, the death of our beloved daughter, and other difficult struggles in our lives. Yet through it all, we do see God’s severe mercies in amazing, but hard ways. It has drawn all of us closer to our King Jesus and to one another. More on this subject another time.

What I want to share from a parent’s perspective, is that we have had to watch each one of our children and grandchildren struggle with pain, hurt, fear, betrayal, and many more hard issues. It is the hardest thing, as a parent, to look into your children’s eyes and see the pain in them. It is as if someone plunges a knife into your own heart. Many, many times I have begged the Lord to put their affliction and pain on me – take it away from them. It is a good “mom” prayer, but a very selfish prayer.

One day I remembered the cocoon story, and realized what I was praying was for God to cut the “cocoon” of their circumstances. If God cuts their “cocoon”, then what would they become? Certainly not the men and women of God they are- and the ones they will become through all of their suffering. You see, in the cocoon is a God shaped struggle to get the juices flowing into the moth’s wings and give it the strength it needs to soar. Without that struggle, it died. Isaiah 30:20 states, “And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher.” We need bread and water to survive, so He is telling us that we need adversity and affliction to survive and see our Jesus. He does not hide Himself from us in these times – or from our children – these difficulties are times when they DO see Him. These are His severe mercies.

We have to ask ourselves as parents, what do we want for our children? To be shriveled up and spiritually dying, and just existing, or do we want their wings to open up so they can fly and reveal the majesty of Jesus Christ? It sounds like a simple answer, but are we really willing to allow God to do the work in them that He sees is necessary for their character? I Samuel 19:11 states, “Saul also sent messengers unto David’s house, to watch him, and to slay him in the morning.” "This was the beginning of a very unhappy time in David’s life, a dark and lonely experience which nevertheless played a tremendous part in the making of his character” (Alan Redpath, “The Making of a Man of God”). We know the end of David’s story, but he did not. We have to realize that life springs out of that cocoon, just as beauty springs out of all of our sufferings. Our Lord sees the “end” of each of our stories, and for that I am thankful.

-Susan

Thankful Hearts

   We are back in California, and Dorothy couldn't have said it better- there's no place like home! We love California the most! ❤️

Sunset at Carpinteria State Beach

  That said, what an amazing experience we have had! The day we drove from Las Vegas to Southern California, we recounted all the cities, experiences, mishaps, and more that we have had since the first day we drove away. What an incredible adventure we have been on! We have broken down- many times, and continued on, experienced the hospitality of strangers in small towns, walked through our nation's biggest cities, stood at the top of the One World Financial Center, saw Niagara Falls, went horseback riding in the Black Hills, visited Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota and the Mall of America in Minnesota. We walked the Freedom Trail in Boston and the National Mall in D.C. We visited friends around the country and churches whom we had already loved without having ever been there before. We spent hours and hours cramped together in a pickup truck, singing or reading (okay that was mainly me singing or reading to them while they painfully endured it!), making dub smash videos, and playing Life on the iPad.

The Black Hills, South Dakota

Mt. Rushmore

Dinner with Bill and Carol Gribac in Chicago... Okay Joliet, close to Chicago

Niagara Falls

Visiting the Abdullah's in Boston

Prayer meeting at the Brooklyn Tabernacle

Dinner with our dear friend Anthony in New Jersey

Josh and Pastor Ray Ortlund at Immanuel Church in Nashville

Casey and Ashley happened to be in Nashville at the same time we were

An afternoon with our longtime friend Mandi and her wonderful kids in Nashville

Thanksgiving dinner with our precious friends, the Gribacs, in McKinney, Texas

The Village Church in Flower Mound, Texas

Double date with Tony and Kimmee

Dominoes With the Gribacs 

Hoover Dam

Hoover Dam

  I seriously sit back in awe that I was given the gift of traveling across the United States in an rv... (and a trailer, ha!) with my family!! The memories we made will be forever close to my heart. But the deep closeness and love the six of us have shared through these experiences is the greatest gift of all.

  One year ago this month I started reading a book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. At the time I was deeply grieving the loss of my sister-in-law's life. It was a heavy and dark time for our family. Through that book I was challenged to allow God to shape my thinking and heart attitude into a pattern of thankfulness in the midst of pain and brokenness.

  To practice thanksgiving.

  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

  That last verse- "in everything give thanks." I've pondered that so much over the last year. In everything? That is a pretty tall order, God. How is that even possible?

  So back to the book. What the author challenged me to do was to start naming the things I am thankful for. One thousand gifts.

  It is easy to generally say thank you to God, but what if I actually named each thing I saw throughout each day that I was thankful for? So I started doing that. I bought a notebook, and started numbering and naming gifts that I was thankful for. Practicing thanksgiving.

  And life got harder. Heavier. More challenging.

  But I still practiced thanksgiving. Not in a mountain-conquering way. I wasn't happily singing "Oh well, God will use it for good!" while I danced a jig. I was crying and broken. But I still wrote things down I was thankful for.

  Goodnight kisses from my kids. Kind words from a friend. Laughter. Thunderstorms. Books. Music. Sunsets. Safe keeping. God's faithfulness and mercy. New opportunities. 

Sunset in Albuquerque

The Grand Canyon

Washington D.C. 

So many hours together in this truck  

  The list goes on.

  This morning I spent some time looking back over my  thankful list. This last year has been packed full of trials. But is has also been packed full of gifts. And as I looked through my list, I saw this last year through the lens of thanksgiving. I remember the pain, but I remember the gifts God has given me through the pain. During the pain. And sometimes, because of the pain. And my heart is encouraged. I sit with my notebook on my lap remembering how full the last 12 months have been, and I am filled with joy for the many gifts God has given me.

  Life is hard. That is just a fact. But if I counted the difficulties over this last year, or even throughout my life, the number wouldn't even come close to how many gifts I am given every single day by my loving Father in heaven.

  So the question is, what will I look at?

  Or rather, Who will I look at?

  He is always good. My circumstances don't change that. I can count my pains, or I can count my blessings. And as I am practicing thanksgiving, literally counting one thousand gifts, my eyes are turned to the Giver of those gifts. And I rejoice.

  One thing I am extremely thankful for, is you. The love you have poured out to us, the prayers and practical help you have given us, the kind words and encouragement... Words fail to express the depth of my gratitude. You have reminded us of God's specific love for us. Sometimes you have said it to us with your words. And sometimes you demonstrated it with your lives. And both have been deeply encouraging and life-giving. So a very sincere and specific "thank you" to you.

  Now we are facing the next season of life. Only God knows what that will bring. But today, we are encouraged, refreshed, and hopeful. And I pray that also for you.❤️

- Andrea

"Even Though"

It has been 59 days since we left on this wild adventure across the United States.

It's been almost five months since we moved out of our home and my kid's hometown without direction for the future.

It's been eight months since we stepped out of ministry, broken and confused as to why God would allow it.

It's been eleven months and four days since our dear sister Hope was called home to heaven, a loss too great for words.

And nothing has been the same since. 

This last year has brought me to the absolute end of myself. Life is hard anyway, that is no surprise. And incase anyone thinks life will be a Disney dream come true, Jesus made sure we could open up our Bibles and get a reality check. "In the world you will have trouble." John 16:33 

There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. You can't have enough money, or be good enough, or avoid rotten people enough to keep away from trouble. 

But sometimes life is even harder than just plain hard. Sometimes God allows one storm after another to pound you again and again, and you can't even catch your breath before the next thing strips you down to nothing again. 

What in the world do you do in that situation? When you're Job and one messenger after another brings you a story of loss and suffering. 

There is not much you can do. More often than not I don't get to change my circumstances. It isn't up to me to do anything. 

But I can decide where to fix my gaze. I can pour out all that is in my heart to the One who is trustworthy. 

So I do. 

I tell God how frustrated I am, how alone and hurt and broken I am. I tell Him I want to trust Him, but it is hard. I tell Him I want Him to be the most important in my life, but it is hard. I don't keep anything back. Praise is mingled with honest fear. 

And He listens. He loves me. 

And He reminds me, "In this world you will have trouble."

But there is so much more to life than that trouble. Right before He said that, He told His disciples, "These things I have spoken to you that in Me you may have peace." 

Peace? Peace?!! Where is the peace in the midst of your world falling apart? Being lost and alone and heart so broken you think you could literally die from the emotional pain? How can Jesus say that? 

Keep reading. 

"In this world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

Ahh. You have overcome it.

I have to chew on this for awhile, let it sink in, make sure I truly accept what this means. 

The God of the universe is offering me peace. Peace in the midst of trouble. Not a nice shallow peaceful life without trouble. But peace in the middle of turmoil and darkness and heartache. How? Because He has already overcome the darkness. 

How is that possible? 

Jesus, the God-Man, who lived a completely sinless life, paid the wages of sin. My sin. Your sin. He hung on a cross instead of me, and died the death I should have died.

But then, wonder of wonders, three days later He brought Himself back to life! He beat death! He won! He has overcome the world! 

Now I can have peace with God Almighty. My sin is paid for, I am no longer an enemy of God. There is peace. 

Peace with God. 

And now I do know my future. Maybe not the future of my world here. I don't know what joys and heartaches are to come in this life- friends made and lost, babies born, and lives taken, children praising God, loved ones denying God. The ups and downs are part of this broken life.

But I am confident of eternity. The future I have for forever. Jesus has overcome the world. And He told us all this so that we would have peace! He wants me to have peace! He died that I might have peace.

This season of my life has had me often meditating on Psalm 23. It is where we got the names for the two rv's we have lived in during this trip. We have leaned on God's promises for rest from it. It has been my comfort and hope through so much recent brokenness. And God continues to teach me more from it as He takes us on this journey. 

The first few verses are so beautiful:

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

Sounds good right? Like the nice peaceful life we all want. But listen to what is next.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me."

Did you see it? Those words that make all the difference. 

"Even though." Yes that's it.

Not "afterward" or "when" but "even though." Everything that came before- the green pastures and still waters- that is a place I can be "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death." How? Because He is with me! 

Sometimes, the circumstances cannot be changed. But the peace that God offers is available even then. God is with me.

I am forever learning to be with God. To really be aware of His presence. To talk to Him all the time about everything, even if it is silently in my mind. To meditate on His words to me. To listen to Him. To trust Him. To be with Him. Like I am with the people I love here. 

God is a person. A being. My friend and Savior and Lord and Strength and Refuge and Shepherd. He doesn't want me to just know about Him, but to know Him. Personally. 

And that is where I find comfort and peace. 

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

Praise be to God. 

-Andrea

Reconnecting in Nashville

  This week we are in Nashville, Tennessee! We went to a church called Immanuel where Ray Ortlund is the pastor. Another pastor preached the sermon, but afterward we met Ray Ortlund and he was great! Our family was stopping at Nashville the same time my Uncle Casey and his girlfriend were traveling to their friend's wedding there. They were going to meet us at church, but they were running a little late. I was kind of nervous because I hadn't met her before. She was very nice and I liked her. I was so happy to see my uncle.  After church we went to get lunch with uncle Casey and his girlfriend, Ashley. They bought us delicious drinks to share. Yum!! We met a girl named Kayla there. We also met Giovanni Ribisi. It was crazy! We got our picture taken with him, and he was really nice.

  After that, we finished up and said goodbye to Uncle Casey and Ashely, and left. Then we met dad and mom's old friend Mandi Young and her kids at the Parthenon. It is a full-scale replica of the original Parthenon in Ancient Greece! 

  It was fun playing with them, except it was raining and I was in a dress with a sweater that had holes in it. I was also starting to feel sick. After we played at the wet playground, we drove to the mall and met them there. We went into stores and Katy was really nice. She is my age. We were all hungry so we ate dinner at TGI Friday's. Their food was great! There was a lot of food, so we took lots of it home. Finally, the day was over and it was an awesome day!

  I found this verse I like at church that day. It is the beginning of Colossians chapter 3: If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, not things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

-Brooklynn

What Happened In "Dining Room"

I heard a low rumbling noise... It was my stomach telling me that it was hungry. We had been driving a long time. We decided to stop at a restaurant called Dining Room. It was in Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming. We had an amazing dinner there. Charis, my sister, and I walked to the ladies room together. Charis was in one of the stalls. There was a big gap at the end so she asked me to stand guard in front of it. I did, and the gap was so big that when I put my arm back... It got stuck! At first Charis thought I was joking, then I told her it was really stuck. So she hurried and came out. And my mom came in to check on us. She started trying to get my arm out, and even rubbed soap on it to make it more slippery. But it didn't work and my arm was really hurting! Mom told Charis to go get dad. He came in to help, and was trying to pull the stall door away from the wall. A nice lady was washing her hands and said she could get her son to come help too. So then, her son and his wife and their three kids ALL came in and watched while he and my dad tried to get my arm out. They tried to pull the door so my arm could squeeze out, but it was no use. I was worried my arm would never come out. I hugged mom while they were thinking of ways to free my arm. I was in there for about ten to fifteen minutes. Finally, dad decided to go get a screwdriver from our RV. I was laughing and crying, and Charis whispered in my ear, "at least you won't be the parent with the boring stories!" Then we both really laughed!

My dad came back in with a screwdriver, after almost getting hit by a truck on his way, and he started to loosen the stall door. But still my arm wouldn't come out. He and the other man had to unscrew almost the whole door. Then finally my arm was free! I was so happy! We all took our dinners and left the restaurant. We talked and laughed about what happened on our way out to the RV. Now I have a big bruise on my arm that hurts, but I'm happy that's all I got to get my arm out!

-Brooklynn

Still Waters

Wow you guys, this is way overdue and it has been crazy since we last posted! 

Our last update was from the Grand Tetons, which seems SO long ago. Let me catch you up-

We drove through all of Yellowstone in a day. I had no idea that Yellowstone was in the middle of mountain ranges! I've always pictured Old Faithful in the middle of flat land as far as the eye could see. And yes, it's flat right there where Old Faithful is.  

But that is such a tiny part of a ginormous national park! There are a handful of mountain ranges within the park and even the plateau is 7 to 8,000 ft. in elevation. We drove for eight hours circling the park (we missed our turn off to head east halfway through due to road construction- oops!) in our 1993 RV that was just barely hanging on, up and down mountains, over summits and along cliffs where I was sure we would all go tumbling down to our death. 

Yellowstone was gorgeous, and we did get to see some amazing views and wildlife. 

That night we drove all the way to Cody, Wyoming, and left the next morning to continue on. 

Then came the Big Horn Mountains, and that is where Green Pastures quit on us. Again. We were towed back to Worland, where we waited for another check of our engine and repairs.

Worland is actually an incredibly friendly little town! The people were so helpful there and everyone seemed to know everyone. We visited a museum and did some on site history while we waited.

The next day we hopped back into Green Pastures, hoping we were in the clear for the rest of the road trip. 

But that was not to be. Let me just tell you, the Big Horn Mountains are intense! We broke down three more times that day. In the middle of nowhere. With no cell phone service.

Praise God, we were able to let Green Pastures rest an hour or so each time and then move forward. I am telling you it was a miracle we made it over those mountains! By the time we got to Rapid City, South Dakota that evening- muscles knotted and shirts sweat-stained from all the worry- we were ready to stop our travels and pray about what in the world we should do next.

We spent a total of ten days in Rapid City. We prayed, called RV shops, looked for a new RV, and then did it all again. 

In the middle of that week, we visited the Black Hills. Gorgeous! That was a refreshing couple of days, where we saw Mt. Rushmore, went horseback riding (heaven!), homeschooled and played. 

When we headed back to Rapid City, the RV problems continued. One thing after another continued to break even while we were just traveling within the city. 

We were in need of wisdom and direction. Do we head home? Do we just keep fixing this RV and keep breaking down all along the way? Do we spend more money on another one? Good grief, so many things to consider and pray through! 

After a week of this, and knocking on every door, seeking God and wisdom from others, we finally decided to trade in Green Pastures and invest in a better trailer.

Meet Still Waters (Psalm 23), our new travel trailer. (Sorry, we haven't taken inside pics yet.)

"He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul." Psalm 23:2-3a

Last Wednesday, after ten days in Rapid City, we finally continued east. We are so thankful!!

We spent the last few days in Minnesota, the land of 10,000 lakes. Lots of really pretty trees and rolling green hills. Much to the delight of the kids we went to the Mall of America, which is a ridiculously huge mall with a small theme park in the middle called Nickelodeon Universe. We had a great time there going on rides, and visiting some stores we don't have back home. 

Sunday morning we worshiped at Bethlehem Baptist church in Minneapolis, where John Piper used to preach. It was so refreshing to worship Almighty God with the body of Christ. How amazing that we are bonded to people we have never met before! 

So the journey continues. Yesterday we drove through Wisconsin to Illinois, and tomorrow we will visit Chicago ("Lord willin' and the crik don't rise!" as my Grandma used to say.) It is crazy to look at a U.S. map and see how far we've come! 

But that isn't the most important part. The deep, dark times where God has met us, and the sweet refreshing times  with Him, have been life-giving. Being together as a family, being sharpened by one another, laughing and crying and praying together... It is priceless. All glory and honor and praise be to the One who is always faithful and kind. He is worthy. 

The Discipline of Rest

     Last Saturday we finally left the town of Fernley, Nevada. After four days of walking her streets and hours spent walking the Walmart aisles, it almost felt like leaving home again. Almost. 

    But we were excited to be on the road again and moving forward in this adventure. We drove ten hours on Saturday and spent the night in Idaho Falls, Idaho. Sunday we set out for Wyoming and what a beautiful drive it was! Every couple of minutes Josh or I was saying “Look out the window! It’s so pretty!” Our kids have no idea how lucky they are to be seeing all of this!

    Sunday night we arrived in the Grand Teton National Forest and we haven’t left yet. The beauty of this place is overwhelming. Snake River is incredible - and from my previous post you know how much I love rivers. As I take it all in, I am again humbled at how small I am and how great the majesty of our God is! “When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained, what is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that You visit him?” Psalm 8:3,4

    Wednesday we took a five mile hike around Jenny Lake to see Hidden Falls, a beautiful waterfall that is hidden in the mountains where only the ones who make the effort get to see it. Can you imagine all the secret beauties God has created for us to discover? What creativity and kindness to give us this Earth and let us explore it and meet Him here! 

    In all this fun and beauty, the adventure continues. And thanks to Josh’s last post I now know the official definition of “adventure.” I hadn’t really known before, and maybe wouldn’t have signed up for it had I known. But God knew, and I trust Him.

      Every day we are figuring out “RV living.” There are problems and difficulties to overcome. The six of us are in close quarters that we cannot escape. My Lord is continuing to refine me, even as He pulls me away to Green Pastures. I am faced with fears I didn’t know I had.  And He is meeting me here. I am finding that even here, I must fight for soul-rest, to enjoy the adventure and find comfort in my Lord while I am away from the usual daily life, to soak up these times with my family and pour love and grace into them, to grow in faith as I see God work and be faithful, to rest spiritually and emotionally. This, I believe, is obedience. He has put me here, I must not waste this gift. 

    But it is a battle, and more often than not I am weary. “No one has ever developed a deep level of spirituality or holiness without experiencing a great deal of suffering.” I read that in Streams in the Desert this morning, a daily devotional that has often encouraged my heart. I know this is true, and yes, Jesus is what I want more than anything. But I am also afraid of more suffering. This isn’t something I take lightly. I seriously consider this. Is He worth it? Do I really believe that He is more beautiful than gold, more precious than silver? Do I want to grow or just stay comfortable where I am in Christianity?  Can I say with Paul, “I count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord?”  Yes, I do, but it is heavy.  And He meets me here too. 

    “Nevertheless, I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand, You will guide me with Your counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73: 23-26.

    All I have to do is keep my eyes on Him. I can fall in the arms of my God who never stops loving me and tell Him all my fears and failures, and receive His love. He already knows. And He is strong on my behalf. My flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart!

    So whether I am back home in California or halfway across the country, my daily aim is to meet with Jesus. He is my Rock and my Refuge, in Him will I trust.

-Andrea

The Adventure So Far: From Charis

Well… Tuesday we left Placerville to our journey across America. We drove all day and spent the night in a Walmart in Nevada. Everything went just as planned. Oh wait, it didn’t. Right now I’m writing from a motel in a little town called Fernley. Please allow me a few moments of your time so that I may tell the tale of our thrilling travels over the last few days. 

    We worked until 1:00 pm on Tuesday. We all loaded up the RV in the stifling heat. Some of us putting more effort into it than others.

Eventually we made it out. As dad drove us along, we watched The Incredible Hulk and had a history lesson on the pioneers who traveled through the Sierra Nevada’s. I finished my Hush Batman graphic novel. After eating my fast food dinner of a burrito (consisting of french fries and mayo) I will hopefully never have to try again, we got back on highway 80. I was listening to Twenty-one Pilots when we pulled over to the side of the road.

Ryden had been sitting in the front seat, but the other kids and I were in the back beds. We all started asking questions about what was going on and why we were stopped. Mom told us to stay calm and stay in bed. She wasn't sure what happened, but we just shouldn't panic. So, after she left, we naturally all started panicking. We started whispering about how we were in the middle of nowhere. Suddenly I spotted Ryden standing by the weeded, dried out field. I slid open my window and softly called his name. He turned his head this way and that way, but didn’t notice me until I called his name for the fourth time. He jogged over to my window. I asked him what was going on and why were stuck on the side of the road at dusk. He said that when he was in the front seat he had seen something smoking on the side of the RV. He had immediately alerted Dad and we pulled over. Dad said it might have to do with the transmission. So we “stayed in our beds” until mom came back and told us to get a water bottle and come outside quickly. We all grabbed our stuff and ran outside. Dad had called a tow truck … it would be there in two hours. And it was already 8 o’clock by now. Mom brought out some chairs and chocolate while we waited in the windy field. We made up a random story about a family who gets trapped on a freeway in Nevada, but it got twisted around so oddly that I don’t even remember it. Around 9:30 the tow truck finally arrived, and we only had to wait an hour and a half in the harsh wind and dust and stickers. Plus another hour in the dark waiting for him to hook the RV up to his truck.

    For the past two days now, we have been at a Best Western motel in a little town called Fernley. It hasn’t been all bad. We, the kids, got introduced to Anamaniacs. Only one of the best cartoons ever. We've done a lot of fun things. Yet ever since we broke down I’ve had doubts about our trip. Why would we go on a two month road trip if we can’t even get through the first day? But God truly uses everything for good. My family and I have been overwhelmed by all the support we’ve received from friends and family, because during our stay we have gotten tons of encouragement and people trying to help us however they can. God has blessed us with so many friends. So thank you for praying and giving us strength.     

    We should be getting back on the road tomorrow. God has renewed my faith, and I am ashamed to admit that I doubted His power. But, I’ve also learned that trusting Him doesn’t mean everything goes my way. It means that I have the Almighty on my side. God literally does not want anything other than the best for me, although some times it isn't what I want for me. He loves me limitlessly and unconditionally. Through thick and thin. For better or for worse.

- Charis

Green Pastures

So I’m writing this first post from Fernley, Nevada, a little town that one of the residents told us is on track to be the fasting growing city in the US, though you wouldn't know that from its Mad Max wasteland feel. You see, our RV broke down on the first day of our adventure, the transmission had a disagreement with the engine and I guess was frustrated to be working again after it had gotten used to the lazy life of being a home for someone. So it decided to quit. Actually, as we stood on the side of the road and watched the red sticky blood like fluid pour from its veins, it decided to die. So a huge setback on day number one. Or, we wondered, is it?

Here is the definition of adventure, “a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome.” When we named our RV “Green Pastures” we had certain expectations. I must confess I pictured a season of smooth sailing, difficulty held at bay, the kids running through a tall grass field in slow motion holding hands. I thought we might get a reprieve from the scorching trials that tend to whither the soul and prune the heart. I wondered if the pain in my head would get a divine message from the Boss that it was fired and to clean out its desk and escorted off the property. So I imagined in the absence of difficulty our souls and bodies would be restored. But my Jesus had a different plan for this season and something greater to teach our family.

I will never forget the first time I read Pilgrims Progress as a kid. At one point on the journey to the Celestial City, Christian comes to the Hill Difficulty, it is a terribly difficult climb and it gets steeper and more treacherous the further he goes on. He is exhausted, tired, discouraged and wants to give up. I remember thinking, press through, keep going, rest is just on the other side of the hill. But then something fascinating happens, he spots an arbor of rest on the trial side of the Hill Difficulty, set up by the master for weary pilgrims. You see we have found in this season, like that weary pilgrim, that the green pastures come in the middle of the treacherously steep Hill Difficulty and the valley of the Shadow of the grim future fate of us all. The Green Pastures are not the cessation of difficult circumstances, but an arbor of respite in the midst of the climb.

I am reminded of the Story of Jesus asleep on the boat in Mark chapter 4. It had been a long day of ministry, explaining the mysteries of the Kingdom in simple but profound stories. Hearts were liberated from the prisons of darkness and death, sick bodies shed the curse of Adam at the touch and word of Him who is veiled lightning. As the day came to a close and the sun bowed out of sight behind the hills of Galilee, the clouds yawning across the sky preparing for night. Jesus said to His disciples, lets go to the other side of the lake. As the tax collector and zealot climbed into the boat, perhaps the four seasoned fishermen were a bit apprehensive, they could smell the dampness on the wind that was quickly gaining in strength. But its what Jesus wanted and they weren't alone, they were surrounded by boats full of people who wanted to be where Jesus was. So they set out across the lake in obedience to Jesus and were met by a hurricane force storm…

Wait, don't miss that, it was because they obeyed Jesus that they were led into the storm, Jesus led them into the storm, hmmm…

What a storm their obedience won them, the howling of the wind only beaten by the rhythmic raging of the thunder. The fingers of the sea stretched upward reaching its claws into the boat trying to pull it down into its salivating mouth. They were afraid, they thought they were going to die. You see there was no greater symbol to ancient people of chaos and destruction than the storm, and the storm was winning… wait where is Jesus? What do you mean He is asleep? How can someone sleep during such a storm? I think we miss the point of this story when we say, He slept because He was so exhausted. No, He slept in perfect peace during a deadly hurricane because He knew His Father’s love and care is never exhausted. And this is the lesson He wanted to teach His beloved- that you can rest in His loving care in the middle of the storm, that green pastures are to be found in the middle of the hurricane, that you can trust Him even when He seems asleep for He is Lord of the storm, Master over chaos and destruction. Bending those cosmic forces to do His bidding by a quiet word, “Peace. Be still”.

But now He holds our tear stained cheeks in His nail hollowed hands as the storms of difficulty rage all around and says to the storm of our hearts, Peace. Be still. In His embrace is rest, His voice is the gentle stream, His presence makes an oasis out of the driest desert, and a pillow for our weary heads in the most torrential downpours. Jesus says as much in John 16:33

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Notice He says we will have trouble, that peace isn't found in the absence of difficulty, but is found in Him the overcomer, the Lord of the storm. I think Peter learns this lesson, in Acts 12, he has been arrested, put in prison and is facing being executed like his fellow Christ follower James. When an angel shows up to break Peter out of prison, what is Peter doing? Is he pacing his cell anxiously wondering what God is doing? No, he is sleeping in perfect peace. In fact he is in such deep rest that the angel has to strike him on his side to wake him up, for that night Peter laid his head on the pillow of loving omnipotence.

So that’s what our family is learning, rest in the face of loss, trust in the midst of pain, peace not based on our circumstances, but in Him who is our peace. And there we are revived and restored. How do we do this? I think in the story in Mark 4 Jesus gives us the way. He says to the disciples after He calms the storm “Where is your faith?” Not you don't have enough faith or you have to believe harder, but take what you know of Me and bring it to bear on your circumstances, get it out and use it, think about the gospel and drive it deep into your heart. Oh what a treasure trove of truth we have in the gospel! That we deserved the hurricane storm of Gods righteous wrath, but our Savior loved us so desperately that the Lord of the storm went down into the storm and was drowned under the seas of judgment for our sins. He experienced the cosmic unrest we deserved so that He could lovingly say to our troubled hearts, “Peace be still”.

So as I think upon the good news that tells me that Jesus took the only storm that could really destroy me, now I can rest in all the other storms in life confident that Jesus will see me to the other side and to the shores of the Celestial City. And in the process, my fear of the storm, like the disciples’, is transformed into awe and wonder at the grace of God. And that fear, the fear of the Lord, swallows up all other fear and turns it into joy and worship. How else would they know the power and wonder of the Almighty unless their Good Shepherd led them into the storm? We have been humbled by the love and encouragement and the outpouring of support from fellow pilgrims. Thank you, and we thank Jesus because we wouldn't have known this encouragement unless He led us into the storm.

One last thought on this lengthy post. Notice how the disciples come to Jesus. They wake Him up and say don't you care, are you going to let us die? Its a bad prayer as far as prayers go and yet Jesus responds with complete grace. God knows how hard the storms are for us, how often we are filled with doubt, how often we question Gods character. But coming messy to Jesus is faith enough. So if you find yourself in a storm, don't hesitate, don't delay, just come to the God of all comfort and give Him your messiness and your fear and then rest in Him, in the green pastures He has prepared for you. So it’s not pressing through, but pressing into Jesus where true rest is found. 

So the adventure continues… Day two here we come!

- Josh

Unexpected Journey

Our family is on an adventure. A God kind of adventure. Not the kind you plan out and look forward to for months, counting down the days with your kids. But a completely unexpected one that has been birthed out of deep pain and loss. And yet God has mercifully poured Himself out in beautiful, grace-abounding ways each step of the way.

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After a long season of suffering and trials, the Lord pulled our family away from the life we knew. We loaded as much as we could into storage, signed our kids up for homeschool, and moved out of town to a little one room guest house on my parents’ five acres in the foothills.

    From our “home base” in Placerville, we have found a refuge to seek God and find healing. Healing, when the pain is deep, is a very long process. There are ups and downs. There are days of joy and then unexpected days of mourning. And God is there in all of it. With God, we have a safe place to be completely vulnerable and real. He already knows me better than I know myself. I can cry out all my pain and my “why’s” and be met with love and comfort. He knows. He is compassionate. He is our peace, our refuge, our friend and counselor, our everything. In each moment, good or bad, the God of the universe is quietly, powerfully, with us.

It has been a couple of months since we moved. During this time we have taken short trips to different parts of California. What a beautiful state we live in! We are loving the opportunity to explore, fishing and hiking and swimming in this glorious land. For me, the forests of the Tahoe area are so life-giving. I could sit by the river all day, listening to the water rush down the mountain to the next lake, where it stops to rest before moving forward on its journey to the ocean. And there at the oceanside, my husband finds life. Sitting on the beach, the waves crashing, breathing in the salt air, he is revived. As a family we have been able to enjoy all these places together.  Those times have been emotionally restful and life-giving for our family.

Now we are embarking on the next part of our God-ordained adventure. Tomorrow we leave for a 10-week road trip across the U.S. All six of us will pile into our RV, and for ten weeks we will share that tiny space, and at the same time, the limitless space of the outdoors. We are humbled and overwhelmed by this opportunity. The thought of being at the places we are studying and teaching our kids about is so exciting. Together we will all be learning more about U.S. history and see for ourselves more of the beauty God has created.

    Along the way, we plan to visit churches too. There are churches we have never been to and yet they have ministered to us deeply through the sermons and conferences we’ve been able to receive from because of the internet. What an opportunity to visit them in person and see how the Holy Spirit is working in so many other cities and cultures! 

    The RV God gave us is truly a gift. When we first realized what God was allowing in our lives, the uprooting and losing the place we called home, we called to mind the life of Abraham. When God first called Abram out of his land, God didn’t tell him where he would be going. In Genesis 12:1 we read “The Lord had said to Abram, ‘Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.’” We knew God was telling us to go, but we didn’t yet know where to. And so we, like Abram, would be vagabonds for a time, following God to a place we didn’t yet know. Within a couple of weeks, the Lord gave us an RV through beautiful generosity, and we suddenly had hope of a fun, adventurous family time. 

    We have named our RV “Green Pastures.”  After such a long period of pain and suffering, we felt God lovingly remind us that He is our Good Shepherd. Psalm 23 says “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.” What a kind Lord, to make us lie down in green pastures! We are asking God to restore our souls during this season of rest from ministry and the busy-ness of life.

    Now there is both excitement and fear of the unknown in our hearts. But we are looking forward to the ways God will meet us, whether it is in the beautiful scenery we take in, or the chaos of things going wrong, He will be faithful. Our God, creator of the universe, who meets us in our brokenness and never withholds love, will be with us in each moment. He is our Rock.

-Andrea

Our New Home